How Not to Care (about the small things)

I am a stoic person, so not caring comes easily for me. I accepted that overall I do not mean much to the universe, and found a cozy niche in my life where I am rather ok. My ambitions are what make up the most of my life, and everything else is kind of like a side dish. So besides my many goals, I do not care about much else.

Just to share a few of my main goals, they are to acquire my dream physique through weightlifting, get into Harvard for my masters program, and be generally happy no matter what my circumstances are. Smaller goals are to get my dream tattoos and piercings, be the superior worker at my job, triple my bank account, and so on. Everyday I  meaningfully try to contribute to make my goals be accomplished.

Societal pressure, body insecurity, judgmental peers, and uncooperative people are on the very outskirts of my life. I do not care too much what people think of me or how I look (despite being in recovery for anorexia). I would like to be understood in life, and appreciated, but I do not rely on others to make me feel validated. I learned to create a niche for myself.

It is considered cool to not care about anything. However, there is something to value for people who care too much too often. I allow myself to nurture my love for my boyfriend and close friends, and I also fuel my passions. There is vibrancy in those who care deeply and without any trace of doubt. So keep in mind that not caring about anything isn’t as appealing as it seems.

Yet I will still  write about how not to care about things that shouldn’t really matter.

 

  1. You have full control over yourself, but none over others. Don’t worry yourself sick over others choices, as all you can do is provide guidance or offer suggestions.
  2. You can’t be fake forever, so just be yourself. There is no point in pretending to be someone you’re not when people will find out who you truly are eventually. Also it feel better to be genuine and alone than to have others fall in love with a you that doesn’t exist.
  3. Time doesn’t stop, so don’t dwell on anything for too long. No matter what you are going through, life is continuing whether or not you choose to participate in it. It is ok to work through issues on the past, to try to plan a better future, but the present is what is dealt to you at any point in life.
  4. What are you grateful for? I am the type of person who is constantly marveling at how amazing the world is. Everything captures my interest and I never take it for granted. For most things I feel a deep sense of gratitude. This might come more easily to me than to others because I survived a rough past. But at the very least try to appreciate that fact that no matter what your circumstances could be, you are lucky enough to be alive.
  5. Find your niche. This is incredibly important. Find or establish the boundaries where you thrive. It could be a narrow niche, or a very spacious one. My niche is surrounding myself with motivation to help me achieve my goals. In my niche I have few time-wasters and things or people that lead me away from leading my ideal life. However, my niche is wide because I can be happy in a variety of situations. Create a niche that allows you to thrive, and try to stay there. Once this is accomplished, not much will bother you.

 

Not caring about the mundane things keeps your mind clear and relieves stress. I find it particularly useful to not worry about what is not within my realm of immediate control. I am then free to be mindful and present in life. However, I open myself up to feel deeply about my passions and feel love for others. I appreciate all the opportunities life gives me, and never take it for granted.
In short, not caring is recommended for only what you cannot control or for what does not directly affect you. Society may glamorize having a breezy attitude, but having passion is what gives life meaning.

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