The fear of being judged holds back many people in life. In its own pathetic way, the fear of being judged is so intense that others really miss out on life. It is missing going out to try new things, or asking for help before you assume you know what you are doing only to f*ck up, or going for that new hair style, etc, etc. For others the fear of being judged prevents you from functioning, to where you become so anxious you become like a useless drip in any situation outside your home. Well, I overcame that. Which is why I’m typing out this blog post.
It came in a series of ideas.
The first idea is that I am an insignificant person. I don’t hate myself by saying this. But people aren’t relying on me like a military official, a president, or some other high-authority person. No, I am a rather all-around good person that a lot of people probably don’t know. Accepting that I am never going to have thousands of people relying on me helps me escape the thought that people truly care about every single action I do.
The second idea is figuring out why I judge people. Most of the time I judge people who stand out with a pleasant uniqueness, or it is because a person’s presence gave me a bout of insecurity. However, once I make the brief judgement about the stranger, my brain already skips on to the next thought. I already forgot about the person a few moments later. I figured this is how people probably see me too. They think “Oh. She has piercings and colored hair. Huh.” Then there they go on their merry way. I am never thought of again.
I believe that to be true. Only so much can be stored from a person’s current consciousness. then put into long-term memory. Why would you be that meaningful to people that you’d use up precious memory space? Even more so if the event noticed was irrelevant to the observer. So, in essence of my knowledge of psychology, I am still insignificant.
There is also a flipside for being judged. If you seriously are finding yourself to be the center of attention, you have come a person of interest to general society. This could mean that you will probably be a person who will impact society. Or that you are doing something severely out of the norm. Hard to tell, right? Neither option sounds completely bad though.People just have the stupid tendency to hammer down the nail that sticks out above the rest.
The third is the most important. It does not matter if others judge you. They don’t understand your thoughts, motives, and motives as well as you do. They don’t know the backstory. If they are so ignorant about what they are judging, then why should you allow them the power to make you feel bad? I quit giving people that power a long time ago.
Here’s an example. I am in a very difficult class right now. I understand the material. I just have trouble forming the concept into words that will become easy to understand once they leave my mouth. Hence, I raise my hand to answer the professor’s question for the class, only to not make any sense. I know I probably sound stupid. The professor and I go around in circles until we come to a consensus that my answer was actually right. I made myself a facsimile of a poorly trained parrot that is secretly intelligent, and that is ok. I did not care that my peers probably were thinking I’m a dunce.
Why do I not care? If I wasn’t smart I wouldn’t be where I am right now in many ways. The poorly constructed answers that spew out of my mouth in a fifty minute class is not a valid nor reliable measure of judging me as a person. Therefore, I dismiss them all.
I hope that example was somewhat clear. The gist of this entire post is that life is short and you should just do what you want without losing sleep over judgers.