Self-Improvement

Why Playing the Victim is the Worst Thing You Can Do

What do you consider “playing the victim?” I think of it as dwelling on the past and past failures, letting it affect your present, yet not doing anything to change it. Plus, complaining about it near daily People play the victim for a variety of things, ranging from poor grades to an incident that happened seven years ago. It’s normal to be upset about an unfortunate event, or to be traumatized, but eventually you will have to work through it. Dwelling on it will prevent you from progressing in life.

Identifying as a victim destroys all your potential, power, and control. If anything, call yourself a survivor.

I played the victim too when I was younger. I had a sorry attitude about my addictions and the fact I was stuck in an abusive relationship. I would go to to therapy, talk about it, yet never put my therapist’s advice into practice. I saw everything as beyond my control. That is completely false. Everything was definitely within my control even if I didn’t acknowledge it. Once I accepted responsibility for not leaving the relationship and engaging in my addictions I was able to recover.

Maybe you observed people who define themselves as the victim. Going on about the (nonexistent) patriarchy that prevents them from walking naked in the streets, or how the world is fatphobic because they have to pay more for an XXXL shirt. Bad grades are the professor’s fault and has nothing to do with how they didn’t study. These people create problems for themselves. It’s hard to say if they are aware of it, but I refuse to interact with these people. Their worldviews are distorted and extremely negative, almost like through choosing to be a victim they get to have less responsibilities because it becomes a cop-out.

Why should anyone play the victim when life is rather amazing? There are so many things to be appreciative and happy about. Do your limbs and brain function properly? Good for you. Do you have access to clean water and a place to sleep? Awesome. Have at least one friend or close relative you confide in? Great. If you are meeting the basics in life, those are major complaints out of the way. Otherwise, everything else is about perception.

You are only a victim if you see yourself as one.

When I began to recover, I had to let go of the victim mentality because it shirked any chance for me to make positive changes. Being a victim says “things just happen and it is beyond my control.” Life can really, really suck, but everyone has unlimited power to change their lives. As I stopped playing the victim I became happier because I rediscovered power over my life, thus feeling less out of control. The feeling is like how before I was drowning, then I realized I could swim.

View yourself as having control over your life, and there will be endless possibilities. Being trapped in a victimized world-view will only leave you miserable. Accept that the fact the life will move on, and make the choice to be pro-active rather than stagnant. Be like the people you admire who rose from immeasurable pain or beat the odds, instead of complaining how you have no options. There are always choices if you look for them, or at the very least you have the choice to allow yourself to take control.
Stop playing the victim and conquer your problems.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s