I don’t judge people for whatever the aspire to be in life. Whether they want to work in a STEM field, be a freelance scifi magazine writer, be a social media star, a stripper, you just do you. I believe everyone has the right to be happy. An observation I have recently made is what people see as #goals.
#Goals don’t seem to be applied to anything of value. There are basic standards for a human. I can list many, but the biggest is to strive for success that raises your own personal value. Max out what you have to offer the world and what makes you happy. With that goal, you will be revered by others and also probably die with regrets.
I see the #goals mainly associated with appearance, followed by comments by how women’s lives would be perfect if they could f*cking nail that makeup style or achieve the slim-thick physique aesthetic. It’s become so cool to put your livelihood into an outside persona made to please the world. Sure, it can be to make yourself happy as well. It’s very much a self-esteem boost to have pride in your body matching your vision. But that is just setting aspiration for what is on the outside of you.
I don’t see #goals for getting awesome grades or achieving a CEO position. I don’t see #goals for those women who risk malaria and watch babies die when they do missions in third world countries to try to make a difference. Or those role model teens who spend their spring break doing volunteering on their precious time to relax before college finals. Or kids who came from messed-up places who made something of themselves. Or even the everyday girl whose got her sh*t together. Those are the people who should be #goals. Those are the people who should be what people look up to.
I’m not saying I used to always think this way.
Sure, I went on social media and saw all the makeup and glamour, then scoured tips for how to imitate that. I tried them out and checked the ‘tried it’ option on Pinterest. I felt happier for a bit to take a step towards achieving a bodily representation of my internal moodboard. The happiness wasn’t fulfilling.
I wasn’t raising my own personal value. All I did was put on makeup in a different way.
I felt I was a fraud in life. Life is so amazing with all the opportunities it offers. I could pack up my bags and go to Italy. I could bring my boyfriend on a spontaneous date all over the nearby city for the night of his life without a care about money. I could switch my major in my college, or quit and focus on being a fitness guru. For a spin I could try to get away with robbing a bank or blow all my money trying to win it big at the casino. Hell, there is the chance I could succeed. Who is to stop me from doing any of those things? My morals and laws are the only hindrances.
Instead, I spent too much time watching Youtube makeup tutorials, then fretting when the same trick with the face goo didn’t look the same. I would spend more time reading about how to have the best figure instead of actually working out. Those were my #goals at the time that made me miss out on life.
I tried, but it was like the Melanie Martinez lyrics “Kids are still depressed when you dress them up.”
I redefined my #goals by going without those luxuries. By quitting makeup for a couple weeks. I started focusing on exercise for mental health and as a natural mood-booster. Spending my time with cute animals at the pound to brighten up their lonely days instead of time on social media or practicing #bathroomselfie. I found it more rewarding.
Things can be categorized as intrinsically or extrinsically motivating.
When I would drop what I was doing with others, they were more impressed by that than me wearing the trendy mustard colored sweater. It made me want to laugh when it clicked that focusing on my insides is what I wanted to do.
I’m not saying that anyone should care about what I’m saying. I’m not throwing myself a pity party by saying others have misplaced goals lost in aesthetics. I believe in people doing what it takes to be a good egg. Hell, maybe those girls with the #goals eyebrows will be the next Kim Kardashian and spend the rest of their days Happily-Ever-After.